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10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger

10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger

Brad over at wordsell wrote an interesting piece on being a failsperson. It has inspired me to write a quick and dirty 10 ways to become a crappy blogger.

Do feel free to add a POV or two at the bottom!

1.Be an arrogant ass. Speak like some pompous bumptious numpty who knows it all.

2.Ignore your commenters. if someone new comes along and has something to say on your stuff, just ignore them, they might just go away and never come back.

3.Be a lazy splogger. Just go out and nick other peoples stuff and cut and paste it in your blog. people are thick after all, they might think wooo this guys cool, look what he wrote.

4.Write short short blog posts full of inane crap that add no value to anything whatsoever. Suggestions include. “Today, i looked out of the window. A white lorry obscured my view”

5.Consistantly criticise everyone in your niche or neighbourhood. People love a mean spirited bastard after all.

6. Edit your commenters comments to conform with what you say. Better still, just rewrite them totally, you’ll get a lot of inward links as a result.

7.Write stuff that is full of typos and appalling grammar and punctuation. People love to struggle to read things, why not make it easier for them.

8. Just blog once in every 6 weeks. You have better things to do with your time after all.

9. Link out to no one. If you really must, then obfuscate your links in redirects and javascript or just nofollow the buggers. keep that pagerank juice for your self. Its your blog after all.

10. Create pages about terrible terrible events and slap ads and affilaite links all over them. Its your blog after all, why shouldn’t you profit from someone else misery?

Rob Watts
Kickstart your business today - Get an SEO Consultation or just talk to Rob about your online aspirations. With over 20 years experience in building traffic he's pretty much encountered most markets and scenarios

27 thoughts on “10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger

  1. robwatts Post author

    Indeedy Lyndon!

    My sense of sarcastic bastardness got the better of me that day. Still as you say, apply the priciples above in reverse and then theoretically one should do pretty ok.

  2. Keiron

    I love it! Clearly I am failing in my calling as a crap blogster! I must become more arrogant and ignorant immediately, in fact I’m off to do that right now (when this white lorry moves out of the way!).

  3. Seo Blog

    Lol this post is fantastic. Next time someone harasses me about not updating one of my several blogs I’ll point em to #8 and be done with it. You’ve earned another subscriber with this post. Keep it up!

  4. Judy

    I really thought that was a great and smart post! It’s funny how many people think Blogging takes no personal time or energy. They flitter through their Blogging wih no care. I know I sometimes make errors in the way I word things but, I try very hard.Thanks for a really great read!

  5. robwatts Post author

    Haha, thanks Judy, I’m glad you enjoyed it and thanks for stopping by 🙂

    For sure too, we ALL make mistakes, and we all could do with putting a little extra efort into what we do. You can always tell when someones made an effort. Ive noticed with myself that on the occasions where Ive been a little lazy, it really really shows. Its difficult to fake obvious hard work and effort.

    Off to check out your blog 😀

  6. Steve

    Very funny article. Am I the only one who enjoys leaving a comment on a long abandoned blog? I wonder when I do if the author still gets email notification and thinks, “What the hell? Oh yeah. That thing.”

  7. robwatts Post author

    Hi Steve, thanks, glad you enjoyed it too. I think so long as a blog is still on target and speaks to me then hell, why not chip in with an opinion or two. Its the spammy ones with their links plastered all over the place that do me in!

    Thanks forpopping by Steve, I enjoyed reading about BJJ, I’m almost dabbling wih the idea of trying something similar myself, before I’m too old!


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