Brad over at wordsell wrote an interesting piece on being a failsperson. It has inspired me to write a quick and dirty 10 ways to become a crappy blogger.
Do feel free to add a POV or two at the bottom!
1.Be an arrogant ass. Speak like some pompous bumptious numpty who knows it all.
2.Ignore your commenters. if someone new comes along and has something to say on your stuff, just ignore them, they might just go away and never come back.
3.Be a lazy splogger. Just go out and nick other peoples stuff and cut and paste it in your blog. people are thick after all, they might think wooo this guys cool, look what he wrote.
4.Write short short blog posts full of inane crap that add no value to anything whatsoever. Suggestions include. “Today, i looked out of the window. A white lorry obscured my view”
5.Consistantly criticise everyone in your niche or neighbourhood. People love a mean spirited bastard after all.
6. Edit your commenters comments to conform with what you say. Better still, just rewrite them totally, you’ll get a lot of inward links as a result.
7.Write stuff that is full of typos and appalling grammar and punctuation. People love to struggle to read things, why not make it easier for them.
8. Just blog once in every 6 weeks. You have better things to do with your time after all.
9. Link out to no one. If you really must, then obfuscate your links in redirects and javascript or just nofollow the buggers. keep that pagerank juice for your self. Its your blog after all.
10. Create pages about terrible terrible events and slap ads and affilaite links all over them. Its your blog after all, why shouldn’t you profit from someone else misery?
If you really really liked this post you might even want to buy me a Stella Artois :D
Did this help? Do you agree? I value opinions, why not tell me what you think below!
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santaram - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
April 21st, 2007 at 6:59 amhi thanks for adding my blog in technorati favourites and i had add ur blog to and thanks for feedback and feel free to visit my blog
robwatts - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
April 21st, 2007 at 7:03 amno problem, happy to oblige
Shane - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
April 21st, 2007 at 8:24 amHa. I like number 6! I just might do that one day for the hell of it. See if anybody notices. Probably worth o few laughs.
robwatts - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
April 21st, 2007 at 2:43 pmSeriously, I’m sure it’s there in the book of link building somewhere
Brad Shorr - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
April 22nd, 2007 at 8:50 pmHi, glad I was able to inspire you to write this much better and extremely funny post! #7 is my favorite. It keeps me in business as a writer.
robwatts - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
April 22nd, 2007 at 9:03 pmHeh - I’m pretty good at number 7 too!
kuku man - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
April 23rd, 2007 at 12:21 pmWonder if my blog is a crappy blogger…
eventhough I don’t really consider myself as a blogger…
robwatts - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
April 23rd, 2007 at 3:51 pmHi kuku man
The world’s a big place and accommodates a lot of viewpoints and styles,
crappyhappy blogging to youlyndonmaxewell - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
April 24th, 2007 at 10:31 amAhh.. I guess the only way to avoid being a crappy blogger is to avoid all the above points. Who likes a crappy person, anyway?
robwatts - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
April 24th, 2007 at 10:56 amIndeedy Lyndon!
My sense of sarcastic bastardness got the better of me that day. Still as you say, apply the priciples above in reverse and then theoretically one should do pretty ok.
herzeleid_knits - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
April 24th, 2007 at 11:57 amMy inner crappy blogger wants to copy and paste this on my blog. Love it!
robwatts - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
April 24th, 2007 at 12:32 pmHi herzeleid knits,
I wouldn’t mind if you did - as long as you linked back to me
Maybe you could write it in reverse even
Keiron - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
April 26th, 2007 at 2:23 pmI love it! Clearly I am failing in my calling as a crap blogster! I must become more arrogant and ignorant immediately, in fact I’m off to do that right now (when this white lorry moves out of the way!).
robwatts - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
April 26th, 2007 at 3:14 pmDamn Keiron, absolutely!You’d better stop writing that good stuff, else you’ll just never get there
Seo Blog - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
May 2nd, 2007 at 8:55 pmLol this post is fantastic. Next time someone harasses me about not updating one of my several blogs I’ll point em to #8 and be done with it. You’ve earned another subscriber with this post. Keep it up!
robwatts - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
May 2nd, 2007 at 9:15 pmyes 8 is kinda handy for that sort of the stuff - jees, anyone would think we dont have sites to run, or spam sandwiches to make
HOBO SEO - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
May 9th, 2007 at 10:33 pmNice one!
Cindy - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
May 22nd, 2007 at 6:14 amNice article and well done! I’ll be careful not to do any of the mentioned items
Good reading.
robwatts - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
May 22nd, 2007 at 8:49 amHi Cindy, thanks for the comment, glad you enjoyed it!
Judy - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
September 20th, 2007 at 8:02 pmI really thought that was a great and smart post! It’s funny how many people think Blogging takes no personal time or energy. They flitter through their Blogging wih no care. I know I sometimes make errors in the way I word things but, I try very hard.Thanks for a really great read!
Peace!
robwatts - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
September 20th, 2007 at 8:29 pmHaha, thanks Judy, I’m glad you enjoyed it and thanks for stopping by
For sure too, we ALL make mistakes, and we all could do with putting a little extra efort into what we do. You can always tell when someones made an effort. Ive noticed with myself that on the occasions where Ive been a little lazy, it really really shows. Its difficult to fake obvious hard work and effort.
Off to check out your blog
Steve - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
September 21st, 2007 at 12:17 amVery funny article. Am I the only one who enjoys leaving a comment on a long abandoned blog? I wonder when I do if the author still gets email notification and thinks, “What the hell? Oh yeah. That thing.”
robwatts - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
September 21st, 2007 at 9:16 amHi Steve, thanks, glad you enjoyed it too. I think so long as a blog is still on target and speaks to me then hell, why not chip in with an opinion or two. Its the spammy ones with their links plastered all over the place that do me in!
Thanks forpopping by Steve, I enjoyed reading about BJJ, I’m almost dabbling wih the idea of trying something similar myself, before I’m too old!
Cheers
menopauseprincess - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
September 22nd, 2007 at 12:58 amThis is a great article. As a newbie blogger I had to check to see how many of these I may accidentally be doing!
I got here from Blogs We Luv and I’ll be back if you don’t mind.
robwatts - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
September 22nd, 2007 at 3:22 pmHey there menopauseprincess, absolutely, it would be great to see you around again. Glad you enjoyed the post, hope you weren’t doing any of them
p.s Here is a link for anyone else who’d like to know a little bit more about ‘blogs we luv’.
http://blogsweluv.com/
Aelizia - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
November 19th, 2007 at 6:56 amHi,
Its a informative post.All the ten tips for a crappy blogger is really fantastic.Thanks for your valuable, precious and useful tips! All the best for your future.
Irving - 10 magnificent steps on becoming a crappy blogger
December 15th, 2007 at 11:34 pmGreat post, however I thought you were personally attacking me. lol